Relationships are wonderful amazing complex unions. While single, all you thought about was having a significant other, or wondered when you would get married. Then one day it happened. You found that special someone who was just perfect. You were compatible in every way. You loved everything about them and they could do nothing wrong. I mean, where were they all your life? They made you laugh, sing, even hum and the non-stop butterflies wouldn’t leave your stomach. Your conversations with friends and family include sentences like, “We have everything in common, we think so much alike and we are the perfect match made in heaven.” Then after the honeymoon phase, life and reality show up. Now your favorite sentence is “We love each other, but we sure are different.”
Night and Day
Every couple has a night-and-day thing going on. For example, when you dated it was cute that she took an hour to put on makeup, didn’t wear a watch, and was always at least 15 minutes late. You loved her free-spirit! You felt he was so dedicated because he went to work an hour before his shift started to get settled in. He woke up at 4:00 a.m. with no agenda, just because “early birds get the worm.” Now, you just get on each other's last nerve.
Solution: Allow your partner to enjoy their early morning quiet-time. Just so they are in a different room or in another part of the house. If they enjoy subconsciously being late, set the clocks ahead a half-hour without their knowledge. Additionally, take separate vehicles to events, and ask your partner to set out clothes the night before to speed up time.
Hot and Cold
Have you experienced the house temperature war? Either he is always hot or she is always cold, but they’re never on the same sheet of music. The only time there isn’t temperature tension in the house is in the Spring and Fall, when you can open the windows and let the fresh air in. He can’t take off enough clothes in the summer, and she can’t put on enough clothes because the AC makes her feel like she’s at the North Pole, unless she is going through menopause. Now that is a different story to tell.
Solution: Have a room where the air vent is turned off or not completely open. Come to a compromise on what would be a tolerable temperature for each of you. If possible, use ceiling fans and open windows when the temperature cools down. Finally, be sensitive to your partner’s feelings and body temperature.
What you initially loved about your partner doesn’t have to become the enemy now. Yes, you are different, but that is okay. If one of you is organized, messy, focused, unfocused, fast, slow; a multi-tasker, or can only focus on one thing at a time – there is a solution. Both of you sit down with paper and pen and write down what you don’t like about each other. Focus on three dislikes and come up with three solutions for each. Implement and practice the solutions immediately to see how they work. If the agreed solutions do not work well, try another one. Bottom line: seek to understand each other, be open, honest, and continuously communicate every day.
Question: What ways are you and your partner opposite and how have you resolved those differences?
Love Reconciled is a YouTube Channel hosted by Char and Shar an interracial couple married over 27 years. They share their journey of learning to live together in LOVE, WORK and PLAY. They also share their debt free and minimalist lifestyle. They share honest stories, testimonies and life experiences about the good, bad, victories and tribulations of their "happy imperfect" marriage throughout their journey.
For more information regarding Love Reconciled, visit their WEBSITE: www.lovereconciled.com or via EMAIL: wespeak@lovereconciled.com
